Monday, July 23, 2007

Someone asked me how I was today, and my response was, "I've been better". I began to think of a time that was like the best moment of my life. I don't have one. I am 23 years old and there isn't a moment that sticks out as being completely amazing. I never got an acceptance letter to this great school, or the perfect job. After Claire was born, I couldn't even hold her because I was so ill from all these drugs everyone thought I needed, so that certainly was a moment that made me feel amazing. I didn't wear the perfect dress at my wedding. I wasn't class president. I've never even had a birthday or holiday worth sticking out in my mind. I've never had a first car. This isn't to say I don't love being married to Jeff, or that becoming a mother isn't the best thing in the entire planet that has ever happened to anyone. Nor do I wish for material things or some bull shit title. Just a rambling of thoughts. I guess when that moment does come, I won't have anything remotely close to compare how I feel then, to a feeling I have felt before, so it will be even greater to me than it would to another.

No comments: