Tuesday, May 11, 2010


As a parent, I am always so ecstatic when my daughter's reach goals, achievements, and benchmarks in their little developing lives. Watching their face light up when they realize they understand a concept, learn a phrase, or simply uttered a sound that I KNOW was definitely "Mommy".
The other day, Nora and I were walking down the stairs, and she was counting...each...step.... 1, 2, 3, .... and made it all the way to 10, correctly! Which was then followed by 12, so I spoke along with her, to (one of my favorite words) scaffold (not a verb, but I use it as such) her... To help her build little bricks and steps, so that she can reach the top, with just my encouraging words. It isn't always words that I use when scaffolding. It could be helping them to manipulate the playground once or twice, til their confidence is there, and they have complete mastery over the obstacle. There is a certain picture that comes to mind, which I cannot seem to locate on the infinite worldwideweb, of men building the Empire State Building, and how they scaffolded their way 102 stories high, to complete this iconic masterpiece, 80 something years ago. This is the closest stockphoto I could find, and I think it does an okay job to share my mental image.

So, I am not constructing a world renowned skyscraper, but perhaps a world renowned person, if so be it :)
At any rate, while I can accept those milestones with utter joy and elation, it is the times when I realize I have to step back and in a way, let go, for them to grow and learn, that I just don't want to. They are my treasure. My life. Mine. It is selfish, but I'm not always ready or willing to give in and hand over freedom. (The sad part about this post is that it stemmed from my youngest daughter attending preschool for the first time today. What in the heck am I going to do when they turn 16 and demand far more entitlement and independence than me taking them to preschool?)
I am excited and happy for her to be in a place, where she will have the benefits of things I cannot offer, which will enable and empower her to be a strong, and social individual. Example: I am one that is all for painting, however, my threshold on paint clean up, certainly is not something I can commit to everyday. Nor do I have, or again, am I will to have, 4 other 2 year olds, and 6 or so other 4 year olds in my house at one time, for my daughter's to develop social interactions and relationships.
There is a quote I have written down, that keeps popping up, interfering with my words at times, and so I think I will leave you with that...
"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -E. Stone


Anonymous said...

this is brilliantly written... <3 you.

Something Else said...

You amaze and inspire me every day. I love you so much, angel. Very well articulated. You make my nose feel funny.


sarah roxx said...

you are such an incredible woman and mommy!