Monday, January 4, 2010

The worst words you can string together in the Dictionary...

The worst 2 1/2 words, ever heard ever, are "I'm hungry". This is either coming from the mouth of a 3, 1, or 34 year old. As for the first 2 categories, they were fed 3 minutes ago, and as for the last, if he'd open the fridge, he'd find a horn of plenty to heat in the microwave for 30 seconds. Can not either of these three parties form some alliance, to eat three times of day, at the same time? There comes a time, if not every other day, but daily, when I say "F*** it to hell, Kitchen, my second lover, I am sorry to abandon you". And, so I must, leave my second lover, in a mess of sauce, soymilk, salsa, and spaghetti, in an attempt to maintain some failed attempt at sanity.

If it is not these 2 1/2 words, that I fear, it is those that say "I'm wet". It is hard to tell if this ranks number 1 or 2, yet the caveat is, since this happens a bit less often than the previous grievance, I look at it as being second. Waking up, slightly warm, yet slightly cold, and unsure of the cause, is a real bitch. Your upper thigh region is wet, yet cold, but sometimes warm, and you are left to wonder.... why??? What happened? Am I warm or cold? And as you open your eyes, you see a small child, and realize you are neither warm nor cold, just soaked in piss.

So, both of these circumstances, leave me in a conundrum. Which is worse? Regardless of the answer, it doesn't really solve anything.

No comments: