Well Jimminy "holiday"...

Boy, has it been an upper/downer kind of day.  I have been fixating on a certain event for the past few days.  Something of which I could not physically be a part.  Something of which I wonder if I ever was a part of in all aspects of being.  Something that I believe has altered my mood, in only a way such a thing of this proportion, emotionally,  can do, without my realization.  I sit and cry...  silently.  Hidden, to the best of my capability.  I kind of wish I wouldn't succeed in my ability to hide this, but, to my avail, I do a damn good job.  I have been trying to place blame on my emotions to be other than what they are.  What I know it is.  In the end, I am not all that great at hiding things from myself.