Where is mine?

My daughters, shockingly, are all in one bed.  No, not asleep, just entranced in a movie.  Brother Bear to be exact.  I pick up my book, and begin to read.  (While I cannot link the book as the website is down, or maybe my internet sucks,  or perhaps it was just not meant to be... Eat Pray Love). Well, I re-read, because I don't recall the last few pages as I would have liked to.  I am in India, now.  This is where I thought I would have had to hurdle an obstacle.  I am not particularly religious.  I really believe in nothing.  There is a Six Feet Under episode that embodies my thoughts on death.  How I envision the death of myself or of my husband...  Nature going back to nature.  The End.  This book has given me a perspective on life I have never thought of or imagined.  I'm not claiming "Born Again!!"...  However, she says in the first few pages of India, there is a Guru for everyone.  Where is mine?  Is he/she right in front of my face?  Did I miss her/him?  Can I just call out, "Guru, I am ready!!"?

Life is a funny, fickle thing...  I have come across many great people, some of which are moving on, and leave me afraid that I will loose them forever...  Then I look to the bottom of my boat.  I move on to someone who stumbled into my life, unexpectedly... and revel at how amazing that "chance", "fate", perhaps "random occurrence", has impacted me in such a short time of my life. 

I read and dream to write...  I read blogs that inspire,  I read blogs that catch me happily by surprise, and then listen to music that makes me love and appreciate life....  Maybe I have already met my Guru.  Maybe he is him - the one that I open my eyes to each morning.  Or the one I call after months of not speaking to, nervous of our conversation.  Those that I think of daily, that may not even think of me at all?